In Pieces
by Lord Rekhyt
Summary: Sasuke is desperately in love with Naruto, but doesn't know how to say it. Can he get him, or will it tear them apart? Rated M for language, one sided Sasu/naru yaoi, and character death. Please R&R!


_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything to do with Naruto

_**Warnings:**_Mention of yaoi (boyXboy) one sided SasuNaru, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, violence, self abuse, character death, language.

READ THE WARNINGS!

_**A/N:**_This is just a little something that I cooked up, while thinking about the idea of suicide and hate. I'd rather write about it instead of doing it, so this dark and morbid piece of writing is the result… Enjoy.

**In Pieces**

_Drip… Drip… Drip…_

In twenty-four hours, a lot can happen. New life is brought in, love can spark, a disaster can strike, you can get everything you've ever wanted, or life can be taken away…

I wasn't one of the lucky ones…

A few days ago, I was fine. Perfectly happy with my life, save for the fact that the one I loved wasn't mine. I could deal with that, however. If the one I loved found out, it would be bad, since, like me, he's male. The infamous Uchiha Sasuke, in love with his best friend, Uzumaki Naruto. Sure, the torture of not telling him was near to unbearable, but that I could handle. It was the fact that I saw him every day, lusting after that whore Sakura, that really tore me up.

But a few days ago, it all changed.

"Sasuke, lets go out for a drink tonight?" Naruto had said with a gleeful expression. He looked like an angel when he was like this; happy, not a care in the world. He was perfection.

"Where?" I asked brusquely, keeping up the charade of cold dislike.

"There's a new club nearby, we could go there."

"Hn." I replied, but inside I was ecstatic that I could spend the evening with the blonde.

"Great, I'll pick you up at six, okay?"

I nodded, and as he turned away, I smiled.

That night, at precisely six-o-clock, my doorbell rang. I ran my fingertips through my hair one last time and straightened my shirt as I hurried over to the door, eager to see the object of my affection.

"Hey Sasuke," he greeted when I opened the door, "You nearly done yet?"

I nodded, a little put out that he didn't notice that I had dressed up for him. I grabbed my wallet from the top of a table and locked the door behind me, standing in the cool, fresh air. We walked to Naruto's car in silence, and drove off. The club was only a few blocks away from my apartment, so it wasn't long before we came to the new joint, which had been named Kreation. I stepped out of the car and dug my hands deep into my pockets, following the blonde into the club. We went to the bar and ordered a drink, standing under the dim artificial lighting.

"So why this place?" I asked.

"Just thought it looked good." Naruto said vapidly, his lie completely transparent. It was obvious that there was an ulterior motive.

It didn't take me long to realize what it was. Ahead in the crowd, dancing, was a shock of pink hair. Haruno Sakura…

It was no secret that Naruto had a crush on her, and it filled me with a nauseas feeling, looking at her.

"Oh look, Sakura is here!" Naruto said, trying to hide the fact that it was the only reason he came.

"Great." I mumbled sullenly, "I'll be at the bar."

I stalked off before Naruto could say another word and immediately began drinking heavily in a state of morbid depression. True, I had known that it wasn't like he fancied me, but he could at least realize that I'm in love with him! Then again, maybe I was just not that obvious about things. I had to admit that it wasn't his fault for not knowing.

The more I drank, the worse it got. I could feel hatred and jealousy battling for dominance in my mind, unsure of which would be better. I watched the two of them dance together, and I wanted to scream out.

But I didn't. I just walked out of the club, up the street, and into my apartment, where I threw myself down on the sofa and started to cry. I cried until my eyes were so bloodshot that I could barely see. When I finally dragged myself up, I was so depressed that I walked into my bedroom and lit a joint.

The drug made me feel lightheaded, but that didn't bother me, I was to drunk too care at that point. Yeah, I was using my depression as an excuse to drink a lot and do drugs, but I had reached a point, months ago, when the virtues of society started to become meaningless to me. I didn't care that I was no longer a model citizen, or that I was no longer a noble member of the Uchiha. All of that became pointless after I fell in love with him…

It was past midnight when I heard a knock on the door. I stumbled forward, still clutching a half empty bottle of whiskey. I blearily switched on a light and opened the door.

"Hey, Sasuke." Naruto greeted me. He looked severely put out and upset, a cute and adorable pout of his luscious lips.

I motioned for him to come in and closed the door behind him. Following him back to the living room, I took another long drink of the whiskey. It burned my throat, but it was better than feeling nothing but emptiness.

"What's wrong?" I asked, glancing at him surreptitiously.

"Sakura." He murmured.

I didn't say anything. Instead, I waited for him to elaborate.

"We danced together, had a few drinks then went back to my place. But when we were there, she told me that she doesn't like me in that way, that I'm just a friend to her and nothing more.

Nothing more… My heart skipped a beat, and I had to work very hard to conceal my smile.

"I'm sorry to hear that." I whispered, not really meaning it.

Naruto shrugged and stretched back on the couch with his eyes closed, looking even more like an angel than usual. I sat there, staring at his tanned face, the tight shirt that revealed his muscles. Unconsciously, I reached over and took his hand in my own.

"Don't worry about it, Naruto-kun. She's just one girl."

Naruto didn't open his eyes. He merely gave something halfway between a grunt and a sigh.

I stroked his hand gently, all the while watching him. I knew somewhere deep down, that it was wrong of me to feel so elated about him being rejected, but I quelled that part of me quickly. It was alright, just this once, to be a little selfish. The alcohol and drugs were telling me that it wasn't bad to feel happy about it. They were telling me that this was what I had wanted.

Naruto raised his head and looked at me, sitting there next to him. I found his blue eyes with mine and stared into their shining depths, wishing to never be free from their captivating gaze.

Naruto seemed to have noticed that I wasn't in my right mind. He looked around, seeing the empty bottles on the table, then back at me.

"How much have you had to drink?" he asked.

"Quite a bit." I said, feeling oddly proud of myself. I let out a giggle, and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"You should go sleep. I'll come back in the morning."

I shook my head. "Don't go. I want you to stay here with me."

He looked at me uncertainly.

I smiled, or at least tried to. Then, without realizing what I was doing, I kissed him. It was short, but incredible, and as I pulled away from him, I felt a stab of worry.

Now you've done it, Uchiha…

"S – Sasuke, what the hell was that?"

"It was just a kiss." I said with a small laugh, trying to cover up the awkward situation. But he wasn't having any of that from me.

"I just wanted to make you feel better." I said. This was, at least, half true anyway. But Naruto thought of it differently.

"Sasuke, we're both boys. It's wrong for boys to kiss each other like that."

My lighthearted mood vanished in an instance. I could feel anger boiling under my skin, but I tried to contain it. It wasn't his fault, I had acted before I thought.

"Are you telling me you didn't like it?" I demanded.

When he didn't answer I leaned forward again.

"Let's test that theory…"

I kissed him again, this time more deeply. I pressed our lips together passionately, and for a few moments he kissed back, but as I slipped my tongue into his mouth he pulled away with a disgusted expression.

"What the fuck Sasuke?" He half yelled. "Stop doing that! It's wrong!"

My restraint broke.

"Wrong?" I shouted back. "Wrong that I've been madly in love with you for the past three years? Wrong that I can't stop thinking about you? Wrong that I love you with everything I am?"

"Yes!" He shouted back, his face reddening with anger. "It's wrong, Sasuke! We're both men! We can't love each other!"

"Well I do love you!" I screamed.

For a moment he said nothing. He only stared at me blankly.

"Do you feel nothing for me?" I asked in a barely audible whisper. My heart felt like it was splintering. I knew, deep down, that he cared about me more than he would admit. He was too innocent to hide it.

"You are my friend, Sasuke. I can't love you. Not like that."

These words were like a blow to the stomach that knocked the breath out of me for a moment. Then I sneered at him.

"Using the same line that Sakura used on you, huh? Did the rejection hurt that badly? Too bad that pink haired slut isn't here to hear you say that."

I realized I'd gone too far as the words crossed my lips, but it was too late to take them back. I should never have provoked him like that, and I probably deserved what he said next. Naruto stared at me in shock for over a minute before he spoke.

"Yeah. It's too bad. If she was here, then she could hear me tell you that I'd never, _never_, want someone like _you_, Uchiha."

I stared at him.

"You say you love me?" He gave an angry, barking laugh. "I could never love you."

And with that, he left, slamming the door behind him.

As for me, I stared after him blankly for nearly ten minutes, then crumpled to the floor in a broken heap, crying.

The next day was a blur for me. I starting using every drug that I could get my hands on. Cocaine, heroin, LSD, everything. I was drinking heavily too, I can remember that much.

Most of the day went by in a haze of color and emotion, alternating between bouts of angry tears and sudden happiness. I felt like I was being torn apart from the inside, like there was noting worse that could have happened to me. At that point, the building could have collapsed and I wouldn't have cared.

I remember that there was someone else there at one point. It must have been evening when I felt a sharp slap across my face and opened my eyes cautiously. The room had an orange glow to it, though whether that was from the setting sun or the after effects of something I had taken, I don't know.

There was an enraged voice yelling at me, and for a moment I thought that Naruto had come back, but after focusing for a moment I noticed that it was just Kiba. No one important.

"Go away." I muttered dully.

"What are you doing Sasuke?" he yelled, "How long has this been going on? I came over and found you unconscious, barely breathing. What were you thinking?"

"I said go away!" I yelled loudly, not rising from the ground. "Leave me the fuck alone!"

Then I started to cry again all the while begging him to just leave. When I regained consciousness later, it was night, and I was blessedly alone in my apartment. I reached over for a clean needle and my drugs, not ready to face the world and its cruel jokes yet. And the rest of the night just melted away into a blur of meaningless images.

"What do you want?" Naruto asked as he opened his door two days later.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly.

"You're sorry…" H repeated blankly.

"I'm sorry, Naruto. I really am."

"That doesn't change anything, Sasuke." The blonde replied. "You know that."

I was shaking with tears now. I looked at him with imploring eyes, begging for forgiveness, but the look he returned was anything but friendly. It was venomous, hateful.

"Please, Naruto. Can't we just forget about everything and go back to the way things were?"

He regarded me with a sickly smile. "Oh no, Sasuke. Not a chance. After what you said the other night? That was bad enough, but Kiba was here yesterday, he told me about how he found you, comatose and pumped full of drugs. I don't want anything further to do with you and your disgusting habits. Dugs and boys… What's next Sasuke? Going to try to rape me?"

I shook my head frantically, willing him to understand. "No! I'd never do something like that! And I'll stop the drugs, I swear! Just give me another chance, Naruto."

I tried to put my hand on his shoulder, but he took a step back, shaking his head.

"I won't be friends with a drug addict."

And with that, he closed the door in my face.

My head leaned against the cold wood as the ears fell from my face.

"Did you ever stop to think, Naruto, that if I had you, I wouldn't need drugs?"

I could partly understand what he had said. It was all my fault, I had fucked up everything. He had every right to push me out of his life. Him, in his innocence and purity, he didn't need someone like me around, a permanent dark cloud. No, he had made the right choice.

With leaden steps, I went back to my apartment. It seems that I had cried myself out by that point, because although I still had that aching feeling in my chest and my eyes burned, my face remained dry.

"Yes…" I whispered to myself. "I won't cry over you anymore Naruto. I won't keep hurting you like I have…"

I lost my mind for a few minutes, during which time I completely trashed and destroyed my apartment, ripping paintings off the wall and throwing the furniture around while screaming. I broke three windows as well, and their glass lay like glittering diamonds strewn across the floor. I threw myself against a wall vainly, but the resulting dull ache in my arm did nothing to sooth my pain.

I looked over at the shards of glass, that glimmered so invitingly, and I knew what it is I would do…

_**OOOO**_

_Drip… Drip… Drip…_

In twenty-four hours, a lot can happen. New life is brought in, love can spark, a disaster can strike, you can get everything you've ever wanted, or life can be taken away…

I wasn't one of the lucky ones…

I sat there on the cold floor, slivers of glass cutting into my flesh, thinking about _him_. On the brink of death, I couldn't bear to say his name. I dug the glass deeply into my wrist, staining it as a flood of crimson poured from the wound. My blood pooled around me, and my vision was starting to fade as I became lightheaded.

_Drip… Drip… Drip…_

I couldn't even feel the pain anymore. None of it mattered anymore. I was going to a place where no one would be able to hurt me anymore. I would be safe at last. I'd find some semblance of peace.

Then I knew no more.

Hours later, Kiba and another friend, Shikamaru, had burst into what had once been my apartment. They took one look at the wreckage before spotting my body on the floor. They rushed over, not knowing it was already too late to save me.

Shikamaru called some paramedics, but when they got there the most they could do was announce my time of death and try to console my friends, who were both distraught and blaming themselves for my suicide.

I would have told them that they weren't to blame, that it had been my own choice, but I wasn't there to tell them. My body had been taken to the morgue by that point.

A couple of days later they held a funeral for me. It was a morbid, cloudy day, a perfect setting for their gathering. I probably would have approved.

They cried, they asked why, they comforted each other.

Naruto didn't come to the funeral. He was probably busy that day…

_**A/N: **_There it is… Depressing, isn't it? Leave me a review and let me know what you thought of it.

For curiosity's sake, I was listening to In Pieces, by Linkin Park, when I wrote this.


End file.
